That which is real never fades.

'What's Reality'        

                                                    Mary Rosas/2009

It is a windy and blustery day here in the desert. The mood of the day fits my inner experience with Boullie. He seems to walk between two worlds. Sometimes with me and then sometimes he seems to have already walked through that door and gazes into other worlds. Tears well up when I sense he won't be here to nudge me in the loving way that he does and then in the next gust I freely let him go. What a path we have walked together. Those who know us, can't imagine us without each other and at certain moments, nor can I. Yet for this day, the winds of time haven't blown the door shut and I can still reach out and touch him with a grateful heart. May we remember to rejoice with each gentle breeze and remain open through each gust knowing that all forms will pass while that which is real never fades.

     

Enlivening Our State of Being (Part 6)

This is an amazing process that Michael Brown shares. (This is the last of a series of 6 and you may want to go back to the first one.)

I sense for me it is the invitation to move from 'Doing' into 'Being' with more consciousness and consistency. The last 15 years in the desert have been quite a journey of challenges and joy. He is a master with words and playful too in bringing experience that is without words - into words. I'm grateful for this man, his journey, his openness, and his gift of sharing.

As you may know from previous blogs, Boullie (my loving dog friend) is at the last days/weeks. Amazing we have been on this journey for 15 years! Being reminded by Michael and his Presence Process, I have found the way to the beauty of not knowing what to do. Now I can 'real-eyes' with the eyes of my heart and 'BE' with Boullie during this time. I can relax knowing that I can't figure it out, I'm confused about what I 'should' do, and recognize (re-cognize) that these thoughts are all mental chatter to take me from the heartfelt experience of just being with such a dear spirit. I have to go attend to him now...........feeling all the love and sadness of this time is the magic of Life for me today.......... Whew.

'Giving Care' rather than 'Taking Care'

Pretty big calf isn't it! I guess we never get too big to want to be cared for. Truth is, when we get old enough we need to learn to find ways to care for ourselves. Some of us start much earlier than others for conditions beyond our control. When we have independent natures, we can add some anger and we have,  "I WILL take care of myself." This week in a quiet time, I was contemplating the concept of the earth being our Mother and her taking care of us. The image of a large figure made of sand that came up from the bed of a creek was coming to my mind's eye wanting to hold me. I quickly felt an inner resistance and the thought came, "I have to take care of myself".   She slowly sat down in cross legged fashion with a beautiful smile and said,  "I'm not taking care of you - I'm giving care to you and you would be wise to learn to  GIVE care to yourself rather than the way of saying that you will TAKE care of yourself. Can you feel the difference?" I pondered the idea for a minute and began to have those gentle tears of gratitude that come from seeing and experiencing things differently - "I will give care to myself".  Just saying GIVE instead of TAKE.  How gentle it sounded, how loving. Yes, I will learn to give care to myself rather than take care of myself!

What a beautiful way of caring for others too - to give care to them rather than the burden of 'taking' care of them. Once again, Boullie is still here and I am needing to give him more care at this time - what an honor and gift! May we transfer this kindness to ourselves............to give care rather than take care. So next time you are going to take a nap - try saying I will give myself some rest!

Trusting the process takes Courage

I haven't been for awhile because I have been going through a process with my dog Boullie. He's been with me for 15 years and is truly a special dog - all who know him agree! Last week was a challenge for us both. He could barely lift his head and all the confusion about 'should I or shouldn't I' were huge in my mind. How will I know - is he in pain - when is the end??? A friend said, you just need to trust yourself - that you will know and the questions will be gone. Whew. More tears while holding his limp head and petting him ever so gently. Then I was reminded of the beginning of our journey together. I was in a situation where I was in the middle of the country traveling back west with just enough to get home and my car blew up. While waiting for several days - luckily at a friends - Boullie looked at me intently. I said, oh - you want to eat. He communicated that I was to sit and listen to him.  He communicated to me:  Mom, you need to learn to Trust the same way I trust that you will feed me. Whoa........did he let me know he was my teacher! So, I began a journey of trusting. Here at the end the lesson is clear again. I didn't sense it was his time and just sat with him quietly for another day. He has rallied again and is wagging his tail. I realized I was resisting the transitioning process. Many other factors were involved and yet the bottom line is Trusting the Process. I realize it is near and I am grateful for the tail wagging, wobbly walking time we have left together and have the courage to trust the timing.

                          He is back to his old:

                          'Please......another one.........mmmmmmm.........