'little bird' getting help

It's been a week because I had a chance to spend some beautiful time with a friend. It was a gift in so many ways. Being with, being cared for, being listened to, being silly with lots of laughing and dancing, being 'in growth',  and mostly feeling loved. When thinking about what was so big in my heart today, I thought of this 'little bird' that I found hurt and stunned. I gently nursed him back to where he could fly away and a tear came to my eye. He had given me a chance to be kind and loving by coming to me with his little hurt. That's how I feel today, grateful for all the friends I have been able to be a 'little bird' for. By showing my hurt, they have come and I pray I have given them the chance for that beautiful little tear. Thank you friends for your care. It has always seemed easier for me to run and hide until it's 'fixed' so I can be there smiling and singing for you. I realized how afraid I was to show my hurt and fear. What a great lesson you have given me and how gracious you have been - and you all know who you are!

With love and humility...........may we all sing together again soon.

End of the monsoons........

On this mornings walk, I was feeling a sluggishness in my body and the air seemed thick and heavy like maple syrup going through my nostrils. Anxiety began as thoughts of what is wrong with me this morning, what's happening, what did I eat, or blah blah blah, you know the stream I speak of?  Well, I stepped back to observe my experience and realized that my interpretations and judgements were making the experience miserable and wondered what it could be like if I just 'felt' it. Amazing! The experience shifted from that heaviness to a lightness and then the experience of walking was what I noticed. The sluggishness was still there and yet the heaviness in my mind melted into the curiosity. Sometimes the end of a season can feel heavy and ominous and if we can step back and look through the eyes of curiosity, we can see the beauty.

On the concept of 'steps'! I have a very large project that seems overwhelming and the only way I have been able to deal with it is  -  this   -   now this   -   now this....... The 'end' is not what I can focus on outside of a very broad idea that is a bit fuzzy. I have infused that broad concept with a joyful 'feeling' - and that is kept alive with each step of gratitude as I move forward. In coaching, we call those baby steps! On to another baby step!!!

Gratitude for the sense of the 'familiar'.

This morning in my quiet time I realized how the joy that comes from feeling good about my personality, accomplishments or circumstances - is nice but so different than deeper joy. First of all, the good feeling dependent on 'something' is so vulnerable because the very thing that brought the joy can bring shame at another moment!  Funny how the deeper joy is more about the familiar sense we've had since we were little. One of my earliest memories that brought that deeper sense was from watching an ant climb up a blade of grass. I was laid in the lawn of my midwest home in the summer time and maybe even in diapers! I was totally mesmerized and can remember that moment or probably, more correctly, that sense of eternity that I am calling 'familiar'. Circumstances or personality didn't enter in because there was a sense of no time and no space. That's the same familiar sense we can get now too. It is 'always' and it is not vulnerable at all. Hard for me to put words to exactly and yet I trust that those of you who have experienced this - know exactly what I'm talking about. Gratitude for the familiar!

                                                                                   
Morning,
I watched a special on Michelangelo last night on PBS and felt so grateful for
our freedom to express our beliefs. He had to hide the meaning in his work and then burn all of his journals and sketches. It bolstered my hope in humanity - that we do evolve. I realize there is still many flaws in our nature and yet we are in process towards greater freedom. Let's focus on that evolution, feel grateful, and allow for our talents and gifts to be expressed freely and beautifully in the world!

Imagine this image in your mind's eye of a desert monsoon and you are in that rich flow. Feel each drop as a blessing in your life and express gratitude for all your experiences of being alive. Then let them run off and nourish the earth! The gratitude will remain with you throughout the day. Hugs....

September 2nd 2010
On my walk this morning, I saw a tree that had some 'problems'. I thought that tree is not judging itself for doing something wrong or feeling 'bad' about itself. It didn't struggle with what it didn't understand or if this was karmic retribution. It made me realize that as humans we are too quick to 'blame' ourselves or others for diseases or misfortunes rather than accepting and allowing life to just happen. Observing and experiencing  what is and then choosing the healthiest ways we know to deal with it. Taking responsibility doesn't mean taking the blame. It actually frees us from blame when we grasp it. Granted we may have evolved a bit higher than a tree with our cognitive abilities and yet they have always been great teachers for me and I am grateful this morning.